Sunday, August 18, 2013

Christmas Cracker Jokes

Christmas cracker jokes - GillianCrackers

I love the little jokes inside Christmas crackers but I have never been a fan of the really goofy, non-seasonal ones which have become the norm in recent decades - the jokes that are so bad one can't even laugh at them!  They really qualify to be called groaners! 

Originally crackers contained "mottos", little expressions of love:
The sweet crimson rose
with its beautiful hue
Is not half so deep as my
passion for you.
Twill wither and fade,
and no more will seen
But whilst my heart lives
you will still be its queen!"

Some Shakespearean-themed crackers held quotations from the Bard's plays.
By the end of the 1930's these evolved the jokes we are more accustomed to today. Here is a sampling-Q:  What's round and bad tempered?
A: A vicious circle.
Q:  Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A:  'Cause it couldn't find a date.
What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert?
A:  Lost.


At GillianCrackers we like to put seasonal jokes in our crackers so they are mostly about snowmen, Santa Claus, holly, winter - that sort of thing...

What do you get if you cross a Yule Log with a duck?

A:  A Fire Quacker 
Q:   Where do snowmen go to dance?
A:  Snow-balls! 
Q:  What do lions sing at Christmas?
A:  Jungle Bells!

For thanksgiving we love turkey and Pilgrim jokes!

Q: Why did the turkey cross the road? 

A: It was the chicken's day off. 
Q: What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey trot

 Thanksgiving cracker jokes - GillianCrackers

It's all great fun.  I do try to put myself into the place of the people receiving the crackers and how they will feel when they read the jokes so I keep them family-oriented and kid-friendly.

There are some jokes I can't use in the crackers because I don't want to betray the trust of kids young and old who BELIEVE in Santa ( Well, of COURSE we do!!) but I am saving them up and will put them in a special edition of "Bah, Humbug" crackers one year for Santa skeptics who still love Christmas crackers. Here are a couple -
The three stages of life:
1) Yo
u believe in Santa Claus
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus
3) You are Santa Claus


Q:  "Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
A:  You do all the work and the big guy with the suit gets all the credit."

I also try to filter out jokes which may inadvertently cause hurt.

Q - We had grandma for Christmas dinner?

A - Really? We had turkey!

Most kids would think this is hilarious but for a family who may have lost their Grandma recently this isn't going to bring laughter. So, you see, lots of thinking goes into what makes the grade for GillianCrackers Christmas jokes!

Cheers Everyone!
from your Chief Cracker Elf,


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